Let the `’Light Shine

The biggest theme I’ve noticed in my head over the past two weeks was the need for change.  Few times daily I find something new and get all gung-ho about pursuing that, only to find that two hours later I have a very healthy interest in something new.  Very much like a 2 year old.

I have gone from being completely convinced that I want to change careers to be an auditor, to a bookkeeper, to a construction worker (get paid for physical excercize, it might whip me into shape and keep me too tired to think for a while) , to an executive assistant, to a professional Math tutor (which up till now is only a hobby), to marketing.

Last night my Lovely told me that he thinks I’ll give stellar performance in a Marketing Department of a rather large company.  So after a little research, and cross examining my cousin who works in marketing, I’ve decided to give it a try.  Everything has to change, starting with my resume, next my wardrobe, my hairstyle, my demeanor, my vocabulary … is all this what I want?  would all this make me happy ?

For the past week all I’ve really seriously wanted with a passion is a sewing machine.  I wanted to make a nice pillow for a  friend who is having a baby in a month.  but then what.  I feel lost.  I finally feel really lost.

Luckily I have a nice Accounting Exam tomorrow, I’ve always found comfort and solice in numbers.  It keeps me happy for hours on end to sit en play with numbers, move them here, move them there … to the point of anti social tendencies sometimes.  So in this time of feeling lost, I have numbers to keep me company.  I have numbers to give me back my sense of belonging, even if only for a day.